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4Runners are quite a bit smaller on the inside than a Grand Cherokee, not that it can't fit two adults and two kids, but it will be more cramped if either of you are tall. Ride will be harsher due to BOF vs unibody, but if you are into offroading it hard to beat and it will hold it's value very well.
At $40k you have a lot of SUV options, off lease X5s and GLEs, upper trim Explorers. I'd say check out the Telluride & Palisade but they for over MSRP if you can even find them.
My wife has an Explorer Sport with the 3.5 ecoboost and loves it. We haven't had any big issues. We have two small kids that are both in rear-facing seats still, and two big dogs and found it to be an acceptable size even for a mid-size SUV.
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