[XutvJet]

I agree marriage isn't for everyone. I will also add that I know lots of people that stayed single (or divorced) until their 40s, 50s, or 60s only to get married and are very happy.

I think many of the marriage issues stem from one or more of the following:

- Married too early or too young. You should know all your potential spouse's quirks and issues before diving in. This could take years of being together.

- Hopeful that the potential spouse will change their ways when married. Hint: People do not change unless they want to.

- Hopeful that having children might improve the relationship dynamics. BIG MISTAKE.

- Viewing money as "yours" and not as "ours". Specifically, being the breadwinner thus thinking your have free reign with the money because you're the one that made it and get pissed when the spouse spends it. If you can't get past this, marriage isn't for you.

- Inability to compromise. Marriage has a lot of compromise. If you're a selfish type then marriage isn't going to work for you.

- Lack of honesty with yourself, your spouse, and/or the relationship.


I dated my wife for 6 years before getting married. We've been married for 22 years now. That's 28 years together. We have two great kids too. I would be lying if I said things were always perfect. My wife went through a really bad perimenopausal spell for over 3 years that was extremely trying on the relationship, but we got through it and for the better. Research perimenopause and you'll see the havoc it can create in a relationship.

We both have had thoughts of being single, what it would be like being able to date around, and we've shared those thoughts to each other. We're honest with one another. We also both agree that certain aspects of the single life sound exciting, but in the long run, like a pain in the ass and rather lonely.

Being married has made me a genuinely better person. I like having someone to talk to, cook with, share experiences with, a partner in crime, someone to help raise the kids, etc. We also like our own alone time and time with others and neither of us get in the way of that. We don't have to be together 24/7. There is a lot of give and take, ups and downs, sleepless nights, and a lot of compromise, but it's been worth it for us.

If my wife were to pass or leave would I get married again? Maybe, maybe not. It really depends on the person and what I need. My wife feels the same way.