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      10-02-2019, 01:41 PM   #17
King Rudi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DETRoadster View Post
I worked for a company that offered perks for smoking cessation.

Will your new responsibilities involve motivating your nemesis to get off her fat ass and lose some pounds? Are you still sharing a cubical with her? Haven't hear much on that front for a while.

Oooh, I know, come in dressed as Richard Simmons and host a "Sweatin' to the Oldies" lunch hour party.
We are offered a reduction in insurance costs for being smoke free. I am a smoker. In fact, I'm a smoker's smoker; pipes, cigars, cigarettes. I just enjoy it, although I realize how horrible it is for me. At least it isn't meth. Due to new policies, if I complete an online training course concerning the dangers of smoking, although I continue to smoke, I still get the credit and savings on my insurance. Counterproductive to say the least.

Speaking of the nemesis, she isn't much of a nemesis anymore. I have finally reached the stage where I just block her out completely. She is still the biggest pain the ass I have ever met, but she doesn't bother me anymore. I spend more time laughing at her stupid shit than letting it bother me. She had some health issue back during the early spring. She was in the process of having gastric bipass/lap band....whatever you call you it and found out that she possibly needed to have her gal bladder removed. She did not have it removed but went through with the lap band surgery anyway. Now I have to listen to her tell everyone how hard having that surgery is and what a difficult road it's been for her. She has lost 50 pounds but she's still fat as hell. She also has a refrigerator behind her desk. My opinion is that if you have issues with food, best not to have a food storage containment device within reach of you while you sit on your fat ass all day. Personally, I feel, that she didn't need lap band surgery, she needs her elbow fused to where she can't put food in her mouth. Even after having her surgery, she still sits behind her desk and eats chips, cookies and candy all day. I don't know how she does it. To go a step further, her fridge has yogurt, protein shakes and fruit cups in it, this is for show. She also has a 4 drawer filing cabinet behind her desk with only one drawer being half used for filing paperwork; the rest of it is full of food. There is no hope for her. I will say that from her daily tanning bed usage, that she refers to as her "therapy" that she has turned a nice shade of orange; which has earned her the nickname of The Great Pumpkin. I asked HR yesterday if I could order a lead vest and a Geiger counter to protect myself from the radiation emanating from her corner of the office. Between her mass and radiation levels, I'm simply waiting on solar flares and for her to start generating her own gravitational pull. When this happens, it's over for me.

BTW, I come in dressed as Richard Simmons every day. It's my new persona after becoming more physically active.
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