Ok - after much research I am close to signing on the following deal:
36mos 10k miles / year lease:
2020 X5 xDr40i:
Dark Graphite Metallic
Coffee Vernasca leather
Fineline brown wood trim
Drivers Assistance Professional Package
Parking assistance package
Premium package
Running boards
Front and rear heated seats
Heated front seats
Total MSRP inc. destination $69,895
The only option here I definitely wouldn't have picked is the running boards. In a custom build I wouldn't have picked the heated rear seats and I could go either way on the steering wheel. The only missing items from my build is the rear window shades (agreed, the standard rear tinting may be enough) and the glass controls which I could take it or leave it.
Negotiated selling price of $62,000 or a $7,895 discount (11.3%) plus another $1000 off in incentives ($750 conquest + $250 USAA -- don't ask me why the USAA is $250 instead of $500, whatever), which comes to 12.7% off total. Finally payment on this is $698 / month with $4415 due at signing (taxes and fees). I've plugged it into Leasehackr and it seems to tie out (Leasehackr initial payment is a little higher:
https://leasehackr.com/calculator?ma...Tax_radio=true ).
Any comments or feedback? This isn't signed yet. I do feel comfortable with this deal though trying to get the total payment to $690 - we'll see. There's also a different car which is the same build but without the running boards that is basically leaving the factory any moment and this dealer didn't think he could get it though another one did offer it to me just now (though at a lesser discount) -- if I got that vehicle from my current dealer it would generate about $5 less / month, so probably not worth pushing it. I don't think it would be possible to achieve these numbers on a custom build right now, the end of year incentives on existing inventory is what is pushing it.
Also, I'll get the $1000 back from BMWCCA, which nets to around $850 after fee or $23 / month so effective payment will be $675 or thereabouts.
To secure the deal the dealer is asking for $2000 deposit which he said is non-refundable (red flag?). I am happy I was able to work it out with this dealer as he is the closest by far and it will hopefully be the start of a good relationship! He needs to get it approved by his manager and I need to make sure I can move the start date on my parking spot up a month as I put down a deposit for a parking space to start Feb 1.
In any case big shout out and thank you to everyone on here who provided insight and knowledge! This is a solid $60 / month better than my initial deal which was already very decent and I couldn't have done it without the information I learned here. Thank you!