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Stealth told me that the active harness is not available at all yet, and they don’t know when it will be. It looks like you may need the BMW oem harness and a module. There is a plug inside the side compartment of the cargo area that has been identified as the spot that the oem module and/or harness would plug into. Somewhere around here there’s another thread about that.
Given all the hassle, and that I was looking for lightly used cars, I passed on the ones I found without the tow package and bought one with it. BMW is really not making it easy to add a hitch if you don’t buy it from the factory that way.
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