Asking a question like that around here is like asking what kind of beer should I drink, what kind of women should I date, etc.. (you get the idea).
There is not ONE answer to this question, it just depends on what you are willing to do, how much money you want to spend, and how OCD you are.
Like you said there is a significant amount of information on the board here. If you are really interesting in learning ALOT more about detailing your car, check out
www.autopia.org. Its a form with alot of professional detailers on it. There is also a whole book on how to care for you car...
I've ended up using Zanio for a "wax" (it's not really a wax, but a synthetic product that lasts 6+ months) as well as there car "soap". Used some good quality microfiber towels to dry and a sheep skin mit to wash it. That's only the start. Now this is just my oppinion, and my car looks great (at least when not covered in snow and salt around here), but I've gotten very OCD about it...