[ASAP]

Originally Posted by sygazelle

Fake people care about recognition and are willing to compromise their beliefs (if they have any) to be recognized. Fake people can also be counted on to act in ways that benefit themselves regardless of the impact on others.

Genuine people care less about recognition and will not compromise their beliefs to be popular. They will also do things for other people out of kindness and compassion.

So True

[Housekeeping]

Largely how they vote

[H2O_Doc]

Originally Posted by NYG

Lived in NYC almost my entire life and a few years in Miami

Easiest people to identify as fake:
1) Virtue signalers
2) People that can't maintain eye contact
3) Men that can't shake a hand
4) Overly nice people that can't say no
5) People that talk about others behind their back
6) Complacent people

The most genuine people that I've ever met/worked with are blunt and coarse. As much of an asshole you may think they are, they'll be the first ones to give their shirt off their back to you and help you. People that say what they think without social pressure influencing them are almost always the best people at the end of the day. The people that always make you feel good and say all the right things are the first ones to stab you in the back.

Careful about #2. People with ASD often can't maintain eye contact but are often painfully genuine.

[sygazelle]

Originally Posted by Sy1616

Largely how they vote

In my personal experience, I don't think being fake or genuine has anything to do with how a person votes, anymore than it has to do with race, religion, sex, net worth, location, or any other stereotyping group. I've met both genuine and fake people of all backgrounds, beliefs, and voting preferences. Personally, I focus on the person and their personal character. I have close friends that I treasure who vote differently that me and that's fine, as long as they are trustworthy and genuine.

[tcphoto]

Genuine people act the same whether anyone is watching or not, fake people only act with kindness and integrity when someone's watching.

[H2O_Doc]

Lying, deceit, dishonesty, and selfishness are evolved behaviors (lots of other species do it) that can be highly influenced by culture, social context, and the needs of the individual. It's not whether or not we exhibit these behaviors (we all do), but to what degree, why, and when. Some amount is actually adaptive and can provide a bit of social lubrication. Too much is obviously problematic. Not really sure what amount of these behaviors constitutes being fake, but I get the gist of the OP.

Just remember that going through life never lying is a recipe for discord and unhappiness.

[evil-G-nius]

For me its real braggy and loud people. If you are trying that hard to be heard or show off, to me that means you are lacking the capability in being genuine. Those people just bother me

[Bruuuce]

I think the handshake is overrated. So I must fail in that area. If just meeting some random people, I really don't want to touch them. Especially when in an eating and drinking environment. Honestly, sometimes I feel like the handshake people are the ones hard to trust. They try to hard to have a firm handshake and look firmly in the eye. Its overdone and practiced. (may not be a popular sentiment)

family is hard to deal with, till they completely f up.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by evil-G-nius

For me its real braggy and loud people. If you are trying that hard to be heard or show off, to me that means you are lacking the capability in being genuine. Those people just bother me

The empty barrel rattles the loudest. Real power is quiet, humble and most often found alone. It doesn't need to make a scene.

[rebekahb]

Originally Posted by sygazelle

Fake people care about recognition and are willing to compromise their beliefs (if they have any) to be recognized. Fake people can also be counted on to act in ways that benefit themselves regardless of the impact on others.

Genuine people care less about recognition and will not compromise their beliefs to be popular. They will also do things for other people out of kindness and compassion.

I think the era of social media and Covid have really amplified the top portion of your statement. Virtue signaling is at an all time high. The amount of people who compromise their core values and beliefs to fit in have been astounding. I don’t have the need to shout what or I have or I haven’t done from the rooftops. It’s crazy that people look to total strangers on the internet to give them affirmation or a need to fit in. It’s all so strange to me.

[dreamingat30fps]

Originally Posted by rebekahb

I think the era of social media and Covid have really amplified the top portion of your statement. Virtue signaling is at an all time high. The amount of people who compromise their core values and beliefs to fit in have been astounding. I don’t have the need to shout what or I have or I haven’t done from the rooftops. It’s crazy that people look to total strangers on the internet to give them affirmation or a need to fit in. It’s all so strange to me.

Is it that crazy though? Like yes, it's fucked up and people shouldn't do it, but they have been doing it since forever. I googled the phrase "Keeping up with the Joneses" and apparently it goes back to 1913 waaaaay before any social media. I think all the virtue signaling and influencers and all that crap is the same thing... just online. It's probably worse online because it's in your face 24/7 especially with smart phones, but I think the idea in general has been around a long time.

As for the original question... dunno... I only have maybe 2-3 people I would consider close friends and my family is pretty small. So I guess I have not had to deal with many fake people. I mean at least not in anyway that I care about. Like I'm sure I know acquaintances that are probably fake, but since it's not people I have like a real relationship with I don't pay much attention to it.

[rebekahb]

Originally Posted by dreamingat30fps

Is it that crazy though? Like yes, it's fucked up and people shouldn't do it, but they have been doing it since forever. I googled the phrase "Keeping up with the Joneses" and apparently it goes back to 1913 waaaaay before any social media.

Yes, people have been “Keeping up with the Joneses” for many years. I took this free course through Yale called the Happiness Lab (bored during Covid). They talked about this through research they had performed. Before social media, the area you lived in was typically with people of the same monetary status. You only saw the neighbor down the road getting a new car which was usually in line with what your family could afford. Now, due to social media you view people of all different wealth classes. These images of perfection, watching people afford things that the person scrolling might never be able to afford can create unhappiness and discontentment. It’s more amplified than “Keeping up with the Joneses.” This is just a brief synopsis of what the researchers found. Very interesting course.

[calvin07]

Listen to your intuition. Usually works for me. You know when someone is real. Everyone else is fake.

[heitzke]

Originally Posted by calvin07

Listen to your intuition. Usually works for me. You know when someone is real. Everyone else is fake.

Came to say the same. It's so hard to know, but your gut is usually right about people. I find that I just have zero tolerance for people that display or show me a few behaviors.

Lying: If they lie to other people they'll also lie to you
Gossiping: If the only thing that people want to talk about are other people - hard pass. They're also talking about you to other people.
Jealousy/Not celebrating your wins: If your success makes them feel less than, I can't get behind it. I do believe iron sharpens iron and the real people will be there to celebrate with you.

A lot of it comes out with age too. I'm not young, not too old, but you start to see more of the tells. As people move and grow in life you'll see who sticks around and puts in the effort to maintain a relationship with you.

One thing I did over the last year was look at all my relationships and realized how often I was the one putting in effort to maintain things... so I stopped calling/reaching out. Sure enough, if I didn't carry the whole relationship there ceased to be one. I let several longtime friendships whither because it wasn't a two-sided friendship.

[floridaorange]

^Not married I see

[Mingwan]

Easy. Surprise backhand them across the face super hard. It will strip away any fake persona and show you how they react when boundaries are crossed. You might never be talking to that individual going forward, but at least you’ll know who they really are.

[heitzke]

Originally Posted by floridaorange

^Not married I see

hahah surprisingly I am. Surprises myself (both of us, really). It just took more than one try to get here

[Soul_Glo]

Originally Posted by Mingwan

Easy. Surprise backhand them across the face super hard. It will strip away any fake persona and show you how they react when boundaries are crossed. You might never be talking to that individual going forward, but at least you’ll know who they really are.

Sounds like the stuff tele novella’s are made of.

I’m leaning towards 1:10 with door chime.

https://youtu.be/4PKB9F533HU

[F87M2.]

Originally Posted by Soul_Glo

May be it’s old age. I thought I was a good judge of character but I am no longer sure I can tell the difference.

Recently I have been struggling with how my wife’s brother treats her.

He’ll pop up when he needs something. When she wants to meet he always cancels plans so she can’t see nephews. Sometimes I feel like he might even be in a subtle competition with her. She says to me that he is all she has since her family were wiped out by ill health. I think he is a combination of fake and genuine.

So how do you tell the difference?
What is fake to you?
What is genuine?

Yours,

SG

How long have you been been with your wife?