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      03-14-2016, 09:39 AM   #23
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I'm in a similar situation, but we haven't discussed rings/prices. She will be taking what I decide I want to buy for her. If she doesn't like the aesthetics, then so be it. She can always turn me down if she chooses to. I am planning to spend ~6-7k on the ring. I can clearly afford more, but there are more important things in life to spend heaps of money on. The poster who mentioned financing vs. buying cash; there are plenty of dummies in this world financing their engagement rings. I even know a coworker who financed his wedding/honeymoon via a personal loan.

If my girl gave me "minimum requirements," I would NOT be proposing. Good luck.
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      03-14-2016, 09:42 AM   #24
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Poor Flanker
Y bail on such a beauty
and all those pretty R27s and R73s
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      03-14-2016, 09:43 AM   #25
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If the price of the ring is even as issue. Run away........fast.
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      03-14-2016, 09:48 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by jstnstr View Post
So the pressure is on, my girlfriend of three years is waiting (impatiently) for the proposal. We have a good conversation about it, and are on the same page. Something I have been considering for a while. We begin discussing rings and expectations. Now she comes from a relatively wealthy family- always had wealthy friends, expensive taste. Her best friend got married last year and she mentioned that her ring was $50k. That's completely overkill and absurd to me, just absolutely insane. I know the rule of thumb has supposedly been about three months pay, but even that is pretty far less than what her expectations are. For those of you who are married/engaged, can you ballpark me about how much you spent? Either in cash or in an amount relative to income.
I got my chick a $10k Vera Wang ring (I think it's like $12k now). My girl was through the roof when she saw it.

If your girl is that hung up on useless material BS then this is the time to GET THE FUCK OUT of the money pit. She will be a fucking parasite that will drain your bank account once you get married.. Mommy and daddy supported her expensive tastes and now it's your turn, sucker.. And her friend can be totally BS her about the price, as most rich girls tend to lie about shit like this.. Unless she gets the ring appraised, for all your know it might be worth only $15-$20k. My chicks ring looks way more expensive than it really is because of the design.

If you wish to continue this route then put the $50k in a savings account.. Spend $10k on the ring and save the rest of your divorce lawyer fund.


BTW are you currently living with your girl and if so for how long?
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      03-14-2016, 09:55 AM   #27
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Not getting married anytime soon, but the talk came up and I found out the exact style she likes. I mentioned this whole 3month rule and she told me if I spent 15k (3months for me) on a ring i'd be an idiot. I'm sure she'd be happy with anything that didn't come out of claire's. When the time is right, I am looking to spend under 10k for a platinum band and around .75c diamond and even then I think I might be spending too much.
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      03-14-2016, 09:55 AM   #28
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Believe it or not there are plenty of down to earth hot chicks out there.. Why would you want to go for one that only respects material possessions? You're basically setting yourself up to be supporting a spoiled brat.
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      03-14-2016, 10:00 AM   #29
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I didn't have money when I proposed to my (now) wife, so my engagement ring was actually her wedding band. Ten years and a son later, I bought her a lovely ring that she's absolutely over the moon with.

It's not an easy world these days. With Facebook and IG, there's lots we want to "show off" and we're inundated with what others have and are doing. Is it abnormal your girl wants something nice? It's not. But it doesn't have to be "nothing" or a "$50K ring". Get something you know she'll love, that is reasonably priced for your budget and make the actual PROPOSAL something that she'll never forget.

Best of luck!
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      03-14-2016, 10:02 AM   #30
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You can get some extremely nice diamonds from white flash and some acceptable diamonds from blue nile and have a nice, classy, engagement ring for under $10k.

There is no need, at any income level, to spend more than $10k

Your soon to be spouse sounds awful, sorry about that.
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      03-14-2016, 10:04 AM   #31
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Thanks for the overwhelming response everyone. I just about lost my shit laughing when I saw the fighter jet ejection. I don't know how to explain this to her... She certainly doesn't appreciate the value of money the way that I do.
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      03-14-2016, 10:05 AM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by P1et View Post
I didn't have money when I proposed to my (now) wife, so my engagement ring was actually her wedding band. Ten years and a son later, I bought her a lovely ring that she's absolutely over the moon with.

It's not an easy world these days. With Facebook and IG, there's lots we want to "show off" and we're inundated with what others have and are doing. Is it abnormal your girl wants something nice? It's not. But it doesn't have to be "nothing" or a "$50K ring". Get something you know she'll love, that is reasonably priced for your budget and make the actual PROPOSAL something that she'll never forget.

Best of luck!
This works if the girl has good values and a smart head on her shoulders. If she is the Kim Kardashian following, C.R.E.A.M. type, then it will not work. With that type of girl, it's a lifetime of keeping up with the jones'
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      03-14-2016, 10:09 AM   #33
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WAIT WAIT everyone.

Pics of proposed fiance and we will let you know how to proceed.
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      03-14-2016, 10:09 AM   #34
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I didn't spend anywhere near three months salary on my wife's engagement ring. I got her a nice near carrot shiny engagement ring that she loves.
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      03-14-2016, 10:13 AM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reborn_ View Post
This works if the girl has good values and a smart head on her shoulders. If she is the Kim Kardashian following, C.R.E.A.M. type, then it will not work. With that type of girl, it's a lifetime of keeping up with the jones'
I would certainly hope that we'd all choose to marry a smart girl with good values as opposed to the #yolo IG model type. If you have to think twice whether she'd be a good mother to your child, then it's time to reconsider.
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      03-14-2016, 10:16 AM   #36
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What a delight she must be.

A ring shouldn't be a symbol of what you two have. 50k could be used on more important things like a down payment on a house for you two and future kids.

If I was in your position, I would seriously be thinking "what have I gotten myself into?"

Sounds to me like she's trying to compete on the low with her friend. Women nowadays just don't have the same value as they used to back in the day and this is coming from a 21 year old lol.

Good luck OP.

P.S (You'd save a lot of money if you got married to your BMW. Beast in the street, freak in the sheets."
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      03-14-2016, 10:18 AM   #37
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If "three months pay," were the standard I would never consider marrying; ever. If you make decent money(which it sounds like you do) $10k is plenty. $15k if you feel like splurging but nothing more than that. Save the excess for the wedding and stuff for the house. And TRY not to finance it; pay it in full.
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      03-14-2016, 10:18 AM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TBN54 View Post
Sounds to me like she's trying to compete on the low with her friend. Women nowadays just don't have the same value as they used to back in the day and this is coming from a 21 year old lol.
/thread.
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      03-14-2016, 10:20 AM   #39
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I would certainly hope that we'd all choose to marry a smart girl with good values as opposed to the #yolo IG model type. If you have to think twice whether she'd be a good mother to your child, then it's time to reconsider.
Agreed, but lots of guy like the trophy wife thing too.
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      03-14-2016, 10:22 AM   #40
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Agreed, but lots of guy like the trophy wife thing too.
And those trophies usually wind up costing them dearly in the game of life.
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      03-14-2016, 10:25 AM   #41
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A lot of the posts in here point to a greater problem which is the fact that "she" is concerned with the cost of the ring. Really it shouldn't matter to her so before going on; think that through.

I did the 3 month thing (but with my frugalness ended up at 2 months!), which was more than she was expecting. It turned out to be about 4k and that was after I went to the states (from Canada) to buy the same ring from Michael Hill for 2k less than in Canada. (Would have been closer to 6k mind you the exchange was better at the time).

Here are my thoughts... take her to a jewlery store. Don't online shop. Let her see it on her finger. It baits the hook but allows you to set expectations.

Also...you get a feel for what she likes.

If she's comparing to friends and stuff....don't win on price/cost. Win on design. Get a feel for what she likes and then do up a custom ring. Uniqueness could win her over. Some places like Michael Hill will allow you to get different sizes of the same design for budget. I know for a fact that down the road I'll upsize her on a major anniversary. Michael Hill will credit the original value of the ring too which is nice.

There are also ways of cutting cost. What's important to her? Size, clarity, a perfect diamond? You can skirt a bigger diamond if one of the facets has a nick in it.

Cost is a talking point sure, but in the end a pretty ring will catch someone's attention more. There are some pretty gaudy rings for money. Feel her out on what will truly make her happy. If it truly is the money...well revisit your process. Maybe she should buy you a ring
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      03-14-2016, 10:25 AM   #42
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For what it's worth, I spent about 4 months gross salary on a 3.73 carat ring. We had been dating since high school. Excessive? Probably. But the reactions are priceless.

I would advise you to select a diamond, not a ring, and then have the diamond set.
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      03-14-2016, 10:27 AM   #43
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Gross holy cow lol.
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      03-14-2016, 10:28 AM   #44
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I always thought the "3 months salary rule" was gross, not net. Which is absurd.
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