projet de mon sang blanc— a mineral white M3's curated diary

[undefnd]

projet de mon sang blanc— a mineral white M3’s curated diary

(a satirically offensive but artful approach to an automotive build journal)
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introduction

get your finest ritz crackers, aged kraft cheese hidden in your refrigerator, and $4 wine bottle saved for your sidechick

after waiting a gruesome 6 months for the special delivery, I’m more than ecstatic and titillated to introduce the newest acquisition to the garage, sang blanc.

And a huge thanks to Bob Smith from Calabasas for providing such meticulous care with my M3 from consistently notifying me where the car was and inhibiting my road to diabetes allowing me to eat all
their pastries they leave out for their customers

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— my second first impressions on performance —

Because I am not allowed to go over 4,000 rpm and past 80 mph for the first 1200 miles I can’t fully give you my impression on what it drives like from a “give it the full beans” perspective, but from a
regular day-to-day “1/4 of the beans” perspective I am highly impressed. I promise to you I am trying to get out of the 1200 mi as fast as possible. The lower end of the power band has ALOT more power
than the previous model due to the papered statistics that I will not bore you with. And although it can get slightly more rough in terms of gear changes in the lower gears, I feel as though it’s just a reminder from the M3 saying, “hey i’m a full beans type of car”. The suspension is quite quite quite awesomely goodly. It’s supple enough where I can feel where everything is, but isn’t to the point where I am going to shoot myself in the derrière— and its just as comfortable where I can drive it to LA -> SF without having any back issues or sweaty cheeks type of deal. in terms of the the exhaust, it was a lot louder than I expected the stock exhaust to be. I’m not very sure whether if it’s because its coming through the cabin or it just genuinely that loud, but my senses are jumbled and it is not as bad as I expected the inline 6 would entail. I think it can be a little louder and tuned, but thats what this build is for. Possibly the only thing that came to mind as to what I did not and will not like getting used to about the car was the navigation.. but that is probably just given that my neanderthal brain can’t adapt to this new futuristic angled view it displays. Second first impressions mean a lot because your first impression can be clouded by tween boy excitement and not give it the full Judgement Day opinion, and I am thoroughly impressed with my second first impression. looking forward to giving you guys a holistic approach to how much I thoroughly enjoy this car!

***by no means am I an expert or professional, but solely an enthusiast with a loud mouth***

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— my second first impressions on aesthetics —

in terms of aesthetics, I could not be more than pleased with how clèn (as Charlie Davis Photography would say) the Mineral White paint code looks on the car.in terms of clénliness, i’d rate it an epitome of clèn^clèn/10,and I know from watching that show my strange addiction, many guys would most indubitably bang/10. but on a more serious note, the paint shape shifts into more goodness depending on which angle the light hits it, and it just will just leave your mind like this every time -> the entirety of the car’s contours and body shape doesn’t have much to be said.. It is just so goodly contoured and embodies one word: anti-social. but you can never be too anti-social right? BMW did a hell of a job in creating a car that every tween is going to wet their pants over and have nightmares of never being able to own one. In comparison to the e92, the front is just that much more in your face and the rear flares are wide enough to make me drop my mouth and turn back and yell, “DAT ASSSSS!!!”

but only from a feminist perspective because gender equality is a very serious issue nowadays…………. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

and don’t get me started on the 18” wheels in which I can very much vouch that they look just as good, if not better than the ZCP’s from the previous E92— they are just sooooooo “wet” <— i’ll let you put your own definition to that. Maybe that’s why some people fit the ZCP’s on the F80/82’s — because it’s just that wet. Although they will be swapped out with what I can’t put my mind to yet, i’ll be sure to let you guys know whats on my mind (because whats the fun in knowing the entire story plot compared to watching it unfold, right?!?!) just know that it will be the epitome of clénliness

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I mean when have you seen these humble 18”s look so good? VVVV









shout out to starbucks for sponsoring me with this grande iced coffee that accelerated my gastrointestinal activity and almost made me poop out in the middle of nowhere!







a more subdued look of the LCI— she’s a sleeping booty







here is some more macro dosage of rear contours for your lack of contours and your mom’s brother’s sister’s dog’s lack of contourings!





will 275’s in the rear suffice? correct answer: HELL NO!!



and now thee shall entereth thine abyss of gastrointestinal interiority superiority emporium of redness and sakhir orange goodliness!!









and this is what I wast talking about at which hour I hath said the car can shape shift and manifest different colors! VVVVVVV

Cìao for now!

P.S. the formatting for the text field on this forume is SHITE!